Understanding your Anxious Feelings

Understanding

12 June

Written By Alyssa Nikolakopoulos - Guest author

Anxiety is the name for the worried, jumpy, “butterflies in your tummy” feeling that everyone gets sometimes. You might notice it before a test, when meeting new people, or in situations that feel uncertain or new.

Feeling anxious from time to time is normal. But some children feel anxious more often, even when nothing dangerous is happening. If this sounds like you, you are not alone, and there are ways to help.

How Anxiety Works

Your brain has an alarm system that helps keep you safe. When it thinks there might be danger, it switches on and sends signals to your body to get prepared. This can make your heart beat faster, your tummy flip, and your hands shake. This is helpful when there is real danger. For example, if you were in the jungle being chased by a tiger, your heart would beat faster so you could run away.

Sometimes, though, this alarm system becomes over-sensitive and switches on when you are actually safe. This can happen in situations like tests, assemblies, or meeting new people. Your body reacts as if there is danger, even though there is no real need to run or escape. This doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. Your body is just trying to protect you, but it can sometimes misread situations and react more strongly than it needs to.

How Anxiety Can Feel

In your body

Tummy aches, headaches, heart racing, shaky hands, feeling hot or sweaty

In your head

Lots of “what if?” thoughts, thoughts that spin, worry about mistakes, worry about what others think

In how you act

Avoiding things that feel scary, asking “am I going to be okay?” a lot, getting upset or shutting down, wanting things to be perfect

Anxiety is not a weakness. It is your brain trying to keep you safe. Lots of really brave, really clever kids have anxiety. You are not strange, broken, or alone.

The Avoidance Trick

Here's a sneaky thing anxiety does. When something feels scary, your brain tells you to avoid it. ‘Don't go. Don't do it. It's too much.’ When you avoid the thing, you feel better straight away. But over time, your brain learns that the situation is dangerous, and the worry can grow stronger.

The good news? It works the other way too. Each time you face something small but safe, your brain learns that you can handle it, and the worry can slowly shrink.

Things That Can Help Your Body Feel Calmer

Slow breathing: breathe in for 4 seconds, and then out for 6 seconds
Drinking cold water
Naming 5 things you can see, 4 you can hear, 3 you can touch
Squeezing your hands tight, then letting them go
Moving your body (walking, stretching, running)
Talking to someone you trust

These things help your body calm down so your alarm system doesn’t feel like it’s in danger all the time

Helpful Things to Say to Yourself

“It’s okay to feel worried.”

“I’ve felt this before, and I was okay.”

“My alarm system is being a bit too sensitive right now.”

“I can do difficult things.”

When to Tell a Grown-Up

If worry is making it hard to enjoy school, friends, sleep, or everyday life, it’s a good idea to talk to a trusted adult. This could be a parent, teacher, school counsellor, or psychologist, who can help you understand your worry and feel braver. You don't have to figure it out alone.