Understanding Big Feelings
Big feelings are part of being a kid. Everyone has them - feeling so angry you could yell, so sad you could cry, so excited you can’t sit still, or so worried you can’t sleep. Big feelings are not bad. They are just your body's way of telling you something important.
Big feelings can look different for everyone. Some people get loud, some go quiet, and some feel feelings in their body instead of words. There is no “right” way to feel. This guide will help you understand your feelings and find ways to feel better when they get too big.
Your Body’s Feelings Signals
When a big feeling shows up, your body reacts quickly. You might notice:
Your heart beating fast
Your tummy feeling tight, sick, or fluttery
Your face feeling hot
Your hands getting fidgety
Your shoulders feeling tight
Crying, yelling, or strong reactions
This is normal. Your body is trying to protect you. When feelings are big, your body needs to calm first. Then it is easier to think and talk.
Finding What Helps With Different Feelings
Different feelings need different help. You can try these ideas when you feel:
ANGRY (hot, strong energy)
You can try:
Running, jumping, stomping, or stretching
Squeezing a pillow or stress ball
Pushing against a wall
Taking a short break away
SAD (heavy or low)
You can try:
Going somewhere safe and cosy
Hugging a toy, pillow, pet, or blanket
Crying if you need to
Talking to someone you trust
WORRIED (busy or stuck thoughts)
You can try:
Slow breathing in and out
Naming 3 things you can see, hear, and feel
Drawing or writing your worry
Talking to a trusted grown-up
OVERWHELMED (too much all at once)
You can try:
Going somewhere quiet and safe
Wrapping in a blanket or holding something heavy and soft
Drinking cold water
Slow breathing
Things that can make feelings worse
When feelings are big, some things may feel helpful but can make things worse later, like:
Not talking about your feelings
Hurting yourself or someone else
Breaking things
Avoiding everything hard or scary
If this happens, it does not mean you are bad. It means your feelings are very big and you may need help to feel better.
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Feelings are like waves in the ocean. They can get big and strong, but they always come back down again. Even the biggest feeling doesn’t last forever. You can get through it, one moment at a time.
Words That Help
Sometimes it is hard to talk when feelings are big. You can try saying:
“I feel really angry.”
“I need a break.”
“Can I have some space?”
“I don’t want to talk yet.”
“I need quiet time.”
It’s Okay to Ask for Help
If big feelings happen a lot, or make school or home hard, talk to a trusted grown-up. This could be a parent, carer, teacher, or school counsellor.
You are not in trouble. Grown-ups can help you understand your feelings.
When to Tell a Grown-Up Straight Away
Tell a grown-up right away if:
You feel unsafe or scared
Someone is hurting you
Your feelings feel too big and scary
You are thinking about hurting yourself
You do not have to deal with this alone. If you are not sure, it is always okay to ask for help.
HELPFUL PLACES
KIDS HELPLINE
1800 55 1800
Free phone or online help for kids any time you want to talk.
SMILING MIND
Free app with calm and mindfulness activities for kids.
HEADSPACE
Help for young people and families.
REACHOUT
Simple information about feelings and tough times.
